Selfless

This post is so important to me.  I wrote the entire thing in my head earlier while cleaning.  It was eloquent and expressed the exact emotions I feel deep down.   But now that I am sitting here staring at the screen, having no idea how make my fingers type the words I so want to share with the world.

On August 18, 2009 we met an incredible woman.  A woman that would show us in a very tangible way what Jesus in the flesh looks like.  As we approached the hospital room that day, I was a nervous wreck.  I had no idea what to expect, what to say, how to act.  What if my words came out all blubbery?  Yet, we continued down the long hall, my hand in his, praying silent prayers together.  

The door cracked open and a warm glow covered us.  My feelings of fear vanished.  I was instantly drawn in to see a beautiful woman cradling a perfect bundle on the bed.  She urged us closer and immediately asked if I would like to hold him.  A lump formed in my throat, and as I glance her way the tears began to fall.  She spoke through her tears, asking us questions about our family.  We spent quite a bit of time with both Charlie and his birthmom that night.  She was so strong and her love for him was evident.

Just 2 days later we entered the same room for the last time.  P asked that she be the one to place Charlie in our arms....and Jesus took over.  He shone through her face and the sacrifice she was choosing.  She chose life!  She chose to bless our family with a gift we are so unworthy of!

Per her request, I still send letters and pictures to P.  I pray that she is doing well.  I pray she knows how much we and our Heavenly Father love sweet Charlie!  I pray she knows how much we love her and how incredible we think she is.

Celia's adoption story is much different.  Her birthmom chose a family who was excited to become parents to a perfect child (by the way, we DO think she is perfect!!).  Then Celia was born with Down Syndrome and things changed.

We met R when Celia was 3 days old under very different circumstances.  It was a time of uncertainty and fear for R because of Celia's Down Syndrome, cardiac and GI diagnoses.  Over the course of the next 10 days, we were able to minister to R through the diagnoses and medical talk.  We spoke with and asked questions to medical staff in R's presence.  She asked that we accompany her to a meeting with a pediatrician.  Yet in the midst of it all, God shown His face so clearly.

We either spoke with or visited with R daily.  She asked that we be there with her while she signed way her parental rights.  Again, the face of Jesus in the flesh.  She wept at the table, and we wept with her.  We embraced and walked out together and were able to talk outside for a bit before heading back up to the hospital nursery.

God's incredible love was shown again on the day Celia was discharged.  R came by and we spent a couple of hours together.  She walked us to our car and said her goodbyes.  When Celia was safely tucked in her carseat, we began to drive away. Before we turned out of the hospital drive, I moved so that I could see R........only to see her sobbing with her head in her hands.  Selfless.  Jesus in the flesh.

Our relationship with Celia's birthmom is much different than the one we have with Charlie's. We talk and email regularly.  Over the past 16 months we have met several times for a visit.  As hard as it is for me sometimes to prepared myself for these visits (selfish, I know), we are so blessed to know R and have her know Celia.  She is a gift to our family.

I came across this video last week and HAD to share it here. Please, watch and come to know the pure, unwavering, selfless LOVE birthmoms have for their children.

Adoption has never been a "second best" option for us.  In fact, it is just the way that God chose to continue our parenting journey....this unexpected, undeserved, unbelievable journey.  Adoption is such a gift that we often feel unworthy of!  What could be more humbling and rewarding than being chosen to be a child's earthly parent?!! 

In Him,

E