A PLEA From a Mommy's Heart!

When God spoke to our hearts and turned our lives upsidedown 3 years ago, we never imagined He would lead us to this place.  A place of abundant grace and love and abandon.  If you had asked me 15 years ago if I would be the mother of 5 or open to adopting little ones with special needs, I may have just laughed in your face.  

I used to pray a prayer with hopes that His answer would fit neatly into my life.  I enjoyed the comfort of what I had going on.  God has changed me.  Changed us.  I now beg Him to make me uncomfortable.  I beg Him to open my eyes and heart to what I don't think I can do.  Hard stuff.
Good stuff.  

And so last night in the dark stillness as I walked from room to room checking on each of my treasures, emotions came from deep inside.  I feel so unworthy.  How is it that we are so blessed?!  We have done NOTHING to deserve this....being chosen both by birth and by adoption to parent each of our children.  It's quite the opposite really.  I am a sinner.  The ugly bubbles up and spews out sometimes.  I am lazy.  I dodge the opportunity to share His name.  I close my eyes when I should be His hands and feet. 

Yet even in the midst of the ugly, God is asking us to move again.  Our journey is taking another turn and our homestudy is being updated.  WOOHOO!!  At some point in each of our lives, we are put in a place where total surrender is all there is.  We can chose to take control, but what is the alternative?  He is asking for our "YES!"!  He is asking us to allow Him to take the reins and show us how MIGHTY He truly is.  To perform miracles.  We said "YES!" very recently and the door was slammed in our faces.  Was that still God?  I believe with every part of me that it was.  Absolutely!!  Had we not surrendered, we would not be standing where we are today.   I am pretty good at making and following through with my own plans, but He is so much more than that.  

I am so eager to share what God is working on but I must keep a few things private for a bit longer.  I will say that God is incredible and so is this story.  It's a story of fear and love and loss and perseverance and obedience and faith and anger and honor.  It's a story of families woven together because of one particular thing.  It is a story of unexpectedness and obedience.  I stand amazed when I take a step back.  I see His fingerprints all over this story.  Our faith is being stretched, and I can't help but wonder if God is getting a good laugh!

Yet, in the midst of this awesome story and the excitement we have, lies the reality that in just a few weeks we will be growing.  And I am uncomfortable.  This is the part that forces me to lay it all out there and PLEA from the depths of my momma's heart.  We didn't have this on the radar so soon.  Rooms will be shifted, furniture added and equipment ordered.  Fees (that part makes me crazy!) must be paid.  I pray that God will use HIS body, HIS people, HIS disciples to write the next pages in His book, our book.  So, here it is.  

We have brainstormed and have some fun ideas for fundraising, but we may just not have time.  I love creating items and getting my hands dirty to raise the ransom for our adoptions, but the clock is ticking. I just don't know if there are enough hours before change comes.  If you feel God leading you to financially stand alongside us in this journey, I am adding a "Donation" button to the top of my blog.  (UGH!!  I hate this part!!)

Please, pray for our family and for this adoption.  Pray that hearts will be opened and that we walk this journey honoring noone but our Heavenly Father.  Pray that funds are available in time.  I can't wait to see what God does!!!

And know that we love each of you who are walking this crazy life with us!  I stand in awe of our Creator and the blessings he continues to pour into our home!
In Him,
E