Patti

It was a rainy Tuesday evening the first time we met. You snuggled under the hospital blankets.....tear stained cheeks....so nervous about meeting us. We had never done this before- what do we say? What do we do? And after brief introductions, you asked if we'd like to hold him. It was instant- the same overwhelming feeling of passion and love as if he'd been born to me. I closed my eyes- etching his every smell and sound into my mind. For over an hour you let us hold him. We learned about your family, about this angel and cried together. Then after some tender moments, it was time to go.

Thursday finally arrived and my nerves took over. What if you changed your mind? How could we just pack our things and head back home? We had been told that we wouldn't see you again. You would be discharged first, then Charlie would be discharged to us. At 11am we arrived at the hospital. We waited. Finally, our caseworker arrived and told us you wanted to see us.... To place him in our arms. My heart shattered for you. How could I take such a precious gift away from a mother? I walked into the room and saw the deepest pain I've ever seen written across your face. We held each other and whispered words that only the two of us will ever hear. The room stood still. Tears flowed. Even the nurse and caseworker shared the pain and joy along with us.

The moment came. So tenderly you wrapped him up and raised him to your cheek. Eyes closed I could tell you, too, were memorizing him. One last kiss, then you placed him in my arms forever. The hardest thing I ever had to do was turn away with this angel and walk out of the room.

You told us over and over that your deepest desire was that he would be loved. Only Our Father loves him more!

Thank you, Patti. Thank you for so selflessly choosing us to receive your precious son. Thank you for putting your own wants and needs aside for 9 months and choosing to give him life. As full as my heart is this Mother's Day, it also breaks for the feelings that must be coming over you. I know you will forever have an empty place.

We are so unworthy, yet you surrendered him to my arms with total faith that we were the "ones". Patti, in our brief moments together you taught me many things.Through you and because of you we have seen the closest thing to the love that Christ must have for each of us.

Charlie is HIS light.

August 20, 2009...forever in Mommy's arms

In Him,

E