Homeschooling and Special Needs

Buddy Walk 2012

These two topics are just part of who we are.  We have been homeschooling consistently for the past 7 years. Before that, our oldest 2 were in public school for a bit and then in a private, Christian school for 2 years.  It didn't work for us.  We longed for our children to be home, and we felt God was calling us to that place.

My husband and several friends will laugh when I say this but I long to be organized.  I confess that I am just not.  Not in the sense of every moment of my day planned and thought out.  I think that that is my dream for myself when I grow up.  Every other week I vow that "On Monday we start our new routine".  Monday comes and we hit the ground running.  Everyone is up by a certain time, chores are done by a certain time,  I am shoveling food down my throat so that breakfast can be cleaned up by a certain time and repeat, repeat, repeat the rest of the day.  By Wednesday, I have tossed the routine out the window.  We just don't live that way.  I don't expect math to be started by 11:00 and finished by 11:45.  Sometimes, math can be finished in 15 minutes and other times it may take 2 hours.  The bathroom may take more that 6.5 minutes to clean up.  None of us are happy living life with every moment scheduled.

 HOWEVER, I am a stickler about certain things.  My children do have a time that their little bodies must be out of bed by.  Mealtimes are, for the most part, non negotiable.  Nap times and bedtimes also fall under the "non negotiable" category.  Devotions have to be done and chores and breakfast finished before anything else can start.  If there are dishes in the sink, there is no volleyball (our girls are in charge of dishes:).  And if you are eating, then the animals better have eaten.....at least once that day.:)  Each day I am intentional about squeezing in some therapy for each little one, but they never know it.  

Our therapy looks nothing like therapy.  

Therapy often looks like this- a favorite treat= counting, sorting and fine motor practice.  Not to mention that they provide great potty training motivation!!:)

A few things that we have learned over the years-

#1- We MUST be flexible.  

Homeschooling provides the flexibility that our family enjoys and needs.  Since my husband is self employed and his busy season is only 9 months out of the year, we are able to back off on schooling in our coldest months to do fun stuff with Daddy.  He is also very flexible to take time off to attend all of the kiddos' performances and sporting events.  He even helps me out with wrangling the littles at therapy visits.  

As far as curriculum goes, we have used it all.  No, really, I think we have.  I have not been a stickler about using the same thing for one child just because I did for another.  Each year, and sometimes several times during the year, I reevaluate what we are using to determine whether or not it is challenging and helping my child.

Special needs and flexibility- ummm....the two just go hand in hand.  Noises are sometimes too loud, and we have to leave.  Occasionally there may be a scary buffalo hanging on the wall that totally freaks out a certain child, which again, forces us to abandon dinner.  (this may or may not have happened....more than once:)  Every once and a while the worship music and lights prove to be WAY too much for little girls and they drift off to sleep in order to escape.  We avoid those times by slipping out and enjoying the service on a big screen in the atrium.  Flexibility.

We aren't always able to do the fun stuff that other families do.  We can't always just head to the park for a play date with other moms and kids when 100 other children are there.  Charlie would lose me.  I seem to be invisible when lots of people, playground equipment and noise is involved.  So, while the other moms sit on the benches in the shade chatting about what's cooking in the crock pot, I am following a certain super hero around like a lost puppy.  Instead, we pick the evenings to go to a perfect, quiet (completely fenced and gated!) playground around the corner from our house where noone, and I mean noone, else seems to go.  It is glorious because my kids have the entire place to themselves.

Do I miss what most people call "normal"?  Not in a million years!!  This is our normal.

One of our big girls teaching Charlie a new skill- washing windows.  Now this is a skill I think I'll like!  So much better than the "I don't hear you, Mama, so I'm going to keep on running" skill.

#2- We MUST intentional.

Sometimes it's hard to get it all done.  Sometimes I just don't whether it be on purpose or because I ran out of time.  I like it when it's on purpose.  Occasionally, I hear God's voice telling me to "chill out".  I take His cue.  It's in those moments when I slow down and stop that I am able to see it all through His eyes.  I have come to learn to take these moments and just be.  Soak in my family.  Create memories for my kids.  Be intentional.

When we moved here Daddy gave the big girls the opportunity to start a business.  They chose to raise chickens and sell fresh, free from all yuck eggs.  Since he is a business owner, he sees the value in entrepreneurship.  The business has grown and often the girls have a waiting list for eggs!!  Not only are they learning to care for animals, but they have gained great skills at taking inventory of supplies, time and money management and making sure they have happy customers.

#3- Don't waste even a moment.  Be available.

For it is in those moments, that I am knee deep in the laundry room or dealing with the insurance company and struggling to understand the customer service rep that is obviously not from the same country I am, that I am missing important things.  

Life happens in our home, all day every day, and if I blink, I miss it.  

Two of my big girls building and painting Christmas gifts.

I share these two photos of myself not only to prove that I can, in fact, do "the worm", but to admit that I wasn't always so willing to just let loose.  I used to be the one that would balk at such silliness.  I was Martha complaining to Jesus about everything that needed to be done and noone helping me do it.  Then I reread that story and realized one thing- I was missing out on the important things.  And so....I learned to do "the worm".:)

Moments like these are impressed in my mind

Birthday celebration dinner!!

My big girl and littles hanging out on the hill watching the rest of the family play volleyball.

Two best buddies.

Escaping the daily grind and exploring at the falls.

#4- The "S" word.

Socialization.  This word makes me laugh out loud.  Too many think the question"what about socialization?" is a very relevant one.  If you have met my children, though, you know that my kids are quite socialized.  They don't have a choice living in a house with 7 other people of all different ages and abilities!!  What does that question mean, anyway?

Is sitting in a classroom with 25 other students who are exactly the same age as my child going to make them socialized?  I think quite the opposite.  Nowhere else in your life will you only be spending your day with people your exact age.  Nowhere except school. It is there that they learn and hear things that we, as parents, want to shield there ears from.  It is there that they are bullied and humiliated because of difference.  

My children have quite the "socialization" skills and they didn't have to attend a public school to gain those skills.  Each child can carry on an intelligent conversation with a person of any age and background and feel confidant while doing so.  Each can make phone calls or write emails to adults when seeking information.  Each of my children seek out opportunities to serve others regardless of "social status".  Each of my children have friends of all ages.  Each of my children have been taught special skills by individuals who were not their age.

I will say here that our children are encouraged to seek out opportunities outside of the home for personal growth both in our church and community.  They each are involved in different classes, Bible studies and sports.  While the little ones are still a bit too young to participate in many extra activities, when they are old enough we will encourage them, too.  I have come to the realization that I cannot do it all and teach it all to them.  Sometime, just sometimes :), we seek someone more skilled than I am to help.  But, we are VERY intentional not to let any of the outside activities take away from precious family time.

Yep, socialization happening right here in our home!!;)

In this day, when there are countless opportunities for children of all ability levels to participate and find support in activities in our community, I believe the question "what about socialization?" is a silly one.:) 

A little socialization with a dear friend at our 3rd daughter's birthday party.

I just had to include this photo of the amazing creations the party goers made.

And the "special needs" part of this post.  Well, in my opinion, we all have them.  Some just look different than others.  We all struggle with something....none of us are "normal".

I am including all the photos below in this post because I believe they can stand alone without words.  My children are created by our Perfect Father and seen in His eyes as just that.  They are loved by each of us and many in our community.  They are encouraged and supported and cheered for each step of the way.  Each of them have taught me so much about life....I get teary just typing those words.  Thank you, Lord, for each of these gifts.

Participating in an Easter egg hunt specifically for children with special needs.

Using what he has to gather the most eggs 

With 3 of my lovies- what a blessed day!!

Notice his shirt- "Love Doesn't Count Chromosomes".  Our family motto.

Who knows?!?!

Our budding photographer took this picture of big sis. Love it!

Another by the photographer

I bet you can guess.....

I love babies in kitchen sinks!  I am so grateful they both can still fit here.

Why, oh why, do they insist on sitting in my shower?!

May we all be more like children and see no differences.

Sister love!!!

 In Him,

E