Good afternoon (morning in the States)! We're coming home. We just sat down with Sasha to let her know. I feel as if a part of me has died. I now understand how Patti (baby boy's birthmom) must have felt. A piece of my heart will remain in Ukraine, but for now we are coming home with empty arms.
I cannot even begin to explain where we are in this journey. Why in the world did God put us in this place and what are His plans for us? This is not a decision that we have made lightly. We have been in deep prayer about Ruslana and her needs and we truly feel like God has answered. We cannot provide the level of care she needs without our other children suffering. In order for her to heal and progress, she needs constant care and that just isn't something we can provide without putting our other children's needs aside. She is extremely low functioning and disconnected.
We want nothing more than to scoop her up and run but we know that we have to practice discernment and distinguish God's plan from our own. We've had to put emotions aside and pray that He would reveal to us what we need to do. The Bible tells us that "he who does not care for his family is worse than being an unbeliever". Right now we have to consider how this is going to affect our family as a whole. She really needs more than we can give her in order to get better, and we can't go through with her adoption just because we feel like we have to or are afraid to let people down.
We feel as if we have failed her and the other children who are being left behind, but we must focus on our family right now and try to heal. Please understand that this decision was not one that was made in haste or lightly- we feel as if we have lost a daughter.
I don't know why God sent us here but I pray He'll use this journey in a mighty way. Why did God ask Abraham to sacrifice Isaac? Is He testing us in the same manner? Is it just to see if we will follow Him persistently in preparation for what He has next?
Our dreams for this angel have been torn to pieces and our hearts are shattered. Please, understand that we and our girls need this time to try to heal.
In Him,
E
29 comments:
I will be praying for your family and for Ruslana.
Praying for you! Praying for Ruslana! My heart just breaks! Please know that there is NO judgement from me, only compassion. I am sad with you.
We're so sorry to hear of all you're going through...praying God will give you His peace.
My heart is breaking for you guys! Sending you all the prayers I can. Please travel safely.
My heart is aching for you and for Ruslana. Prayers.
I'm glad God was so clear to you guys. You must answer his calling. You guys are so brave! God will reward you for your faithfullness.
Love, peace, and prayers from our family. Carrying this with you and holding up your arms.
I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter. I can't even begin to imagine how hard that was to make that decision. I will be praying for you and your family.
You are so right when you said that sometimes God just calls you to say yes and maybe, maybe someday you will understnad why.
We'll be praying for you and your family and also for Ruslana.
Praying for healing for you all, and for safe travels home.
I know this is not a decision you have made lightly. I am sad right along with you, know that there is a reason and a purpose for all of this. Someday we will find out...
Blessings to you!!
We are all lifting up your tired arms in this, E. We all ache along with you. (((HUGS))) His strength is perfect in our weakness.
AB
My heart hurts for your family and Ruslana! Sending prayers.
Wishing you peace in your decision and in the days ahead. I can only imagine how difficult it was for the both of you.
You know that of all the people in bloggy land, I understand. I know what it is like to believe that a child was my daughter only to have to realize that she wasn't....I was wrong.
And God did use me. He used us- for a higher purpose than I could understand at the time we were walking through the valley.
Praying for the Lord to comfort you as you draw near to Him.
This will not be wasted sweet friend. I have no idea why or what this was about...but He does and we can cling to Him and to His promises.
Sweet Ruslana...He has plans for her too. Don't beat yourself up...Let the Lord do His work.
love,
Holly
We are praying for you all.. especially for healing.. God bless you both! We can't wait to have you back safe and sound in Georgia.. Be safe!
My prayers are with you SLADE & ELISABETH...My prayers are with you (my heart breaks for your pain)...the understanding of the "journey" will come, but God has you and Ruslana in the palm of his hands.. Please have safe travels and you will be soon in the arms of those you love and who love and support you !
Penny...
Im praying for Ruslana. Will you be referred to another child while you are there?
I know there are no simple words that can be said to heal your heart, but please know we are lifting you and Ruslana up in prayer to the great comforter.
You are in our prayers. So sorry that this is such a hard trip. You are making the right decision for your family. Hope your husband is doing okay from the attack. Keep your faith in God. He will guide you to the right path for your family.
Tammy
Thinking of your family. Please come back to the yahoo group when you feel you can. Only you and your husband know what you felt the Lord was telling you to do. I know you feel a loss right now and I'm sure it goes deep. I hope you can feel the peace and happiness knowing Ruslana will indeed have a family and a future. You had a hand in that as well, because you kept her from the institution. So, if you truly believe you made the right decision for your family and you listened to the Lord, you have nothing to feel sad about...only glad that HE showed you the way :) Praying for you..come back when you're able :)
Jodi Lewandoski
My dear friend--
I woke up with you on my heart! Just wanted to stop by and send you a HUGE hug. Wish I could do it in person. Know that I love you dearly and continue to pray for you and Slade, and the girls. Beauty WILL rise from your experience. He WILL give you beauty for ashes--I promise :)
praying you're home safely with the ones you love.
Thinking and praying for you still. Hoping you're home with your family now.
Praying for your family. I'm so sorry for the hurt you are going through right now.
Praying for you...
I'm so sorry, friend. HUGS from Indiana,
Tara
I'm praying for you. SO sorry... ~hugs~
Just happened on your blog and as an adoptive mom I want to say what courage and strength you must have to have been able to walk through this valley. God revealed this little one to you for some reason and purpose. I pray that God will use your story to help her and countless other angels out there like her and that you will receive healing of the heart as well.
Blessings to you!
Oh Elizabeth...
Sending a hug and praying that the God who sent you, will bring the peace and healing you need in your hurting spirit. All things work for good, to those who love Him.
I am glad God gave you His wise counsel...it is all you ever will need. ;-)
Certainly, He will watch and care for Ruslana too.
(((hug))
Kimmie
mama to 8
one homemade and 6 1/2 adopted
*expecting soon from Ethiopia
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